Tip 1: A beautiful motherhood by finding your personal balance when baby arrives
Listen to yourself! Don't feel pressured into a perfect balance of the different spheres of your life (by which we mean: family, social, sports etc.), but rather do your best. Listen to your needs and your child's needs in the present moment. For example, if one week you feel the need to get away from it all by doing a lot of sport and focusing less on your family life, and a week later it's the opposite, there's no problem. Listen to how you feel, and what areas of your life you need at what times.
And don't hesitate to get help if you feel you need it, both psychologically, where health professionals are there to support you, and physically.
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Tip 2: When you're a new mother, delegate what you can no longer manage
The arrival of a new baby inevitably upsets the balance in the home. You'll need to reorganize, and your daily routine is likely to be turned upside down. So why not delegate time-consuming activities such as household chores? You can enlist the help of your family, your children if they're older, or hire a home help if you can afford it. It's also very important that the mental burden of daily chores is shared between the couple: it shouldn't fall on just one person.
Tip 3: Balance your relationship as soon as you leave the maternity ward
The arrival of a child can sometimes be complicated for the mother, who no longer knows how to reconcile everything: work, motherhood, social life, but also time for herself.
Finding the right balance can be complicated for both parents, but also for the couple as a whole, and for the relationship with the newborn. The birth of a child is a real upheaval.
Everyone has their own vision of parenthood, and it's sometimes difficult to agree as a couple on a parenting model.
Agree on the child's upbringing to gain serenity: With the arrival of a baby, new parents are turned upside down by the emotions, needs and desires of each of them. Talk to each other, listen to each other and be kind to each other. These are precious and difficult times, and it's time to stick together!
There are several tips to help you cope with this upheaval and regain your balance as a couple:
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First of all, accept that your partner has a different vision of parenthood than you do, so that you can find compromises.
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Position yourself as complementary to your partner, rather than in a dominant/dominated relationship. Don't forget that this is a new situation, and that you're both still learning.
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Take care of yourself before you can take care of your relationship and give it time (e.g. reading a book, watching TV together, etc.).
Tip 4: Enjoying motherhood means making time for yourself
How can you feel good about others if you don't feel good about yourself? A top mother is also a mother who takes time for herself. If you feel that your energy level is low, go and decompress, whether it's by going out, to the hairdresser, taking a bath, going to the cinema, a sports session, a shopping trip... In short: find something that makes you feel good and allows you to recharge your batteries. Why not set aside one day a week, like a ritual, during which you take time for yourself?
Tip 5: Motherhood means accepting that you're not a perfect parent
We often tend to want our lives to be perfect, in every respect: a perfectly tidy house, a happy couple where both individuals agree on everything, being productive in both our professional careers and our personal lives.
Don't put pressure on yourself: balance comes gradually. Prioritize your needs in the moment, and that's how you'll achieve overall balance, by listening to yourself. Parenthood is a path strewn with pitfalls, in which learning is permanent and never totally acquired or set in stone.
Tip 6: Get help
There's nothing shameful about getting help, whether it's for your personal well-being, from a psychologist, or for your relationship, in couples therapy. Sometimes, no matter how hard we communicate, we just can't find common ground. Going to see someone whose speciality and profession it is can help you find the keys to help your relationship.
How long does it take to regain balance?
It's perfectly normal to go through periods that are more complicated than others. It can take several months to find and stabilize a balance. Balance is never achieved once and for all, so it's important to take care of it and get help if necessary.
